I can't say much for my teaching Thursday being somewhat distracted by having received a call saying blood had been detected in my stool and I need to get one of those intense anal probes. I don't know the protocol here. What should I have done. Needlesstosay, as they say, I was intensely distracted by the idea that I have bloody stool and the possibility of colon cancer. Should I have mentioned that fact to my students as an explanation for my clearly tired and distracted state, as I discussed with them the film of the day detailing the development of the concept of race as a rationalization of a clear power imbalance.
I just couldn't say anything about it. Though I had in the earlier class as a way of asking them to reflect on the role of emotion to perform a micro analysis of their feelings from the moment they got out of bed till they got out the door--anyway they said they hadn't felt anything. So I asked why they got up...what had motivated...I would have been happy with "habit." But not even that was forthcoming So I said, what about taking a dump. I went on to say that I considered my daily dump one of the high points of my day and then went on to ask them if they paused after dumping to reflect or should I say examine their feces for a moment.
Oh, bitter irony! To have been so laughingly engage in my bowels in the morning and by the afternoon fearing them as source of possible cancer and no laughing matter, at all fecally speaking.
In any case, I called the W2 class off after about an hour and 15. I just couldn't go on sitting there thinking about my bowels and wanting to get home to see if I could contact the doctor's assistant to find out more about the condition of my condition.
I had to go to a damn meeting this morning and when people asked how I was doing I told them I was feeling fucking shitty because blood had been detected in my stool and I was going to have to go into the doctor for one of those intense anal probes. Talk about a conversation stopper! But I would hope by now that people would know that when they ask me how I am I usually tell the truth and so they ask at their own risk.
Well, that's not exactly true. I don't usually tell the truth; given that usually the truth is crappy, telling it gets to be pretty tiring. But I do tell the truth quite frequently if not usually.
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